Hi everyone, hope Im posting this in the right place! We had an incident last Friday night which has totally thrown my husband and I off kilter! My son Jack was threatened by two yobs whilst he and his friend Ben were sitting totally innocently in Bens car Friday night, just chatting after a night out (neither of them drink) These lads were showing off to 3 girls (around about year 9 so 14 years of age, what were they doing out at 11.30pm at night?????) anyway, they threatened to smash the car windows, started rocking the car and trying to get in. They drove off and Jack came in extremely angry, told Kev about it and then unbeknows to us went out to try and sort this out as the lads had recognised Jack and said they were going to put our house windows in! As you can imagine Jack, who's 19 was furious. Anyway, he went round the corner, fronted up to these two lads, punched one (in self defence) they then turned on him so Jack turned and ran back home to where Kev was standing outside. These two lads ran towards him and one squared up to Kev as if to punch him (I just looked out of the window at this point wondering what the noise was and saw this happen) so Kev punched him. Anyway, this lad crumbled and pulled the "im 16 you cant hit me" card out. Anyway, by this poiht I had gone out and tried to diffuse the situation so they went and we all went indoors pretty shaken up. 10 minutes later, the door goes and the two lads are back with 3 re-inforcements, one being the elder brother who threatened and abused Kev. He remained totally calm and told me to ring the police which I did, I dont think the lads thought we were actually calling the police, but as soon as they realised we had, the 3 "reinforcements" made a quick exit. 2 minutes later, 7 police turned up and two stayed outside talking to the original 2 lads. They were very good and said to Kev, as man to man he did exactly the right thing but from a police point of view obviously not! But that they would not be taking any further action. All these lads are well known to the local police.
Neither Kev nor myself have slept much since this has happened, but are now both angry that something like this could happen. We live in a lovely area, not that that means anything I suppose, but the brass neck of these thugs, two of the "reinforcements" were so brave they had their hoods pulled low over their faces so they could not be seen. What has happended to society? The lad who got hit is in my daughters year and is hated by everyone as he is such a bully but a coward too. He was bullied as a child and has no friends and hangs out with younger kids as no-one his own age will tolerate him. A very small part of me feels sorry for him as he comes from a violent background, but then I think to myself at what point does one take responsibility for their own actions?

Kev took a day off today as he hasnt slept and is ok now, I came home from work with a migraine (havent had one for a couple of years) hands and feet are flaring slightly, so am trying to keep a lid on my emotions so that it is kept at bay.
Sorry to go on, Ive never experienced anything like this at all and my imagination is working overtime, worrying about all kinds of retribution etc (I really think I wastch too much tv and read toomuch!!!)

Hope all ok out there and sorry again for the rant!!

love Heather xxxx

How totally horrible for you Heather. You'll be bound to be nervous for a while, but I'm so glad the police used common sense for a change.

There are some horrible horrible no brainers out there.

Hi Heather

Good to hear from you but so sorry it is in these worrying circumstances. I would be mortified if I thought my three teenage sons were behaving in this sort of way, abusing and terrorising people. I'm absolutely sure they're not but what about others they are at school or college with? I know parents who really don't have the foggiest what their kids get up to nor do they seem to care

Jackie is right, it does come down to the parents but how to deal with it is another matter. I hope their experience will put off these particular louts from trying anything like this again. I should think they will steer well clear of your area, if they've any sense at all!

Try not to worry Heather, the police will be on the lookout.
Take care

Lyn x

hope you are a bit better, we had trouble with louts where i am,i live in a very good area,they came from other areas and reeked havoc, we got the police and my hubby was told if he went near them he would be arrested so be carefull,justice i fear is for the criminals in this world, they did however after lots of phoning the police stop but the excuses were poor kids are having a hard time at school/home,yeh a good kick up the rear might help,they forget they will be in our age group one day and could be treated like this,take care look after yourself.

Hello Heather.

As the mother of two boys Tom 18 and Jack 20 I am well aware of the problems facing teenagers today, even when they go clubbing I worry in case they bump into someone and offence is taken.

In this case I am so pleased that the police sorted it out sensibly, a good friend of mine and fellow foster carer's two sons got involved in an incident that they insisted was self defence yet were put away for 3 months, no weapons were involved just fists and they had no criminal record The outcome was she had to pack in foster caring because the boys still live at home.

As an ex Learning support assistance working with year 10 and 11 with behavioural problems some of the things I came across and heard about were unbelievable, nothing surprises me with these children nowdays.

Take care.

Anne x

What a horrible experience for you all Heather. So sorry you had to go through all this. As the mum of 3 'boys' (24, 22 and 19), I know how hard it can be. Jack's measured reaction to such provocation is to be commended and I am so glad the police were supportive and understanding.

Hope the horrible memories are fading. Had to smile at Katie's 'reputation'! My Susie is 15 and having 3 big brothers has left her more than able to wither with words! Take care XX Ailsa

Hi Heather,

As a foster carer all the children that I have had had placed with me have had very different lives to what we can imagine, abuse, neglect and suffering and they do become very distrustful of everyone around them, and trying to break down those barriers is very difficult. They all have attachment problems and have rarely experienced a secure base. Trying to repair the damge that has been done to the child can take years and sometimes it will never happen.

I'm not trying to justify their behaviour but parents do have to take so much responsibility, trouble is these parents don't, they have children and really don't know how to care for them. The children come to me, have no idea that majority of people have three meals a day they are left to fend for themselves from an early age with no guidance, their school attendance is appalling and most are below their cronological age.

So glad you and your family now feeling better.

Anne x

i feel for some of these kids,but the ones that hassled my family 3 of them came from very good upbrings, one was the child of a police officer i found out later, so it is not always the home life, the child can be a bad apple,i have a friend with an only child very clever and very smart that has been so spoiled and always given into buy both parents all her life she knew what buttons to press,she is a mum herself and still not much better,she was the instigator at the time of a large group and still tries to control people of any age.her parents are both professional people ,could it be to much intellegence perhaps or sheer badness?sorry but having been on the other end like heather i feel very strong on this, i too was a nervous wreck for weeks, take care heather

hi, glad things have got better, i have a fake cctv and my elderly neighbour was waving like mad at it when first put up we saw her from the kitchen window and didnt have the heart to say it was fake, bless her she still thinks she is on video,it is a good deterrent, nice one